Kipper Pate

"Nearly Bloater Paste"
from Pirates of the Deep Green Sea by Eric Linklater

If you're wondering why I was inspired to make these fictional treats from a favourite childhood book, click here to read the explanation.

INGREDIENTS:

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1 whole kipper
2 tbspns half-fat soft cheese
juice of half a lemon
ground pepper
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Put the kipper on a piece of tin foil, flesh side up, under a hot grill, on the lowest shelf. 

Grill for about 5 minutes. The flesh should easily flake apart and retain a soft moistness inside. 

Allow to cool a little. When cool enough to handle, remove the whole spine by lifting from the tail and peeling up towards the head. It should take all or most of the larger bones with it, but you'll be able to clearly spot any that remain and pull them out easily. Don't be concerned about the hair-like bones that you may see between the flakes of flesh. They are very flimsy and unnoticable to eat.


Pull off the flesh, flake it roughly into a food processor and blitz well. Alternatively, put it in a mixing bowl and mash thoroughly with a fork. 

Add the soft cheese and plenty of pepper and mix well. Don't be tempted to add salt, as the Kipper is already pretty salty. Add a tablespoon of milk and gradually add the lemon juice, only adding enough to make it moist, not sloppy. If you prefer less lemon taste, just add a bit more of the milk and less lemon juice.

It's ready to eat now, but if you don't plan on eating it straight away, tip the mixture into a tub, or if you want to serve it prettily for a party, or just because, spoon it into a small pudding bowl or mug, lined with cling film. Press well down and seal over the cling film. Place the other half of the lemon, (wrapped in cling film so you can use it for something else) to weight it down. Leave in the fridge for a couple of hours then unfold the top of the cling film, turn onto a plate, and remove the bowl and cling film. Serve with crunchy toast or crackers, and whale milk or rum! ;) 

Use within 5 days. 

If you want a more authenticly Pirates in the Deep Green Sea little brick of paste, use an icecube tray, or mini silicon loaf moulds, but really, it's about the eating, and it's mighty tasty!


If you have moggies, ask them to do a preliminary clean of your fishy bowls for you. If you ask nicely, they should be happy to oblige.